Out One Night

Except for holidays, I generally fly somewhere every weekend of the school year. My wife affirms my doing this because she loves Jesus. She spends every Saturday and services every Sunday alone. Two days home alone every week is a big deal. So I made a commitment years ago to be out only one night. Otherwise, I just multiply the hours she spends alone in our home.

When I serve with churches, I am much more interested in fitting in with their plans than doing "my thing." The following thoughts only are provided for perspective.

Sunday Morning Focus

If the goal of my coming is kingdom impact on parents, then choosing the time for them to gather is important. When parent events are planned for Saturday or for Sunday evening, generally only the best parents of the church attend. They are the ones who need help the least. After observing several hundred weekends, I can say with assurance that the weakest parents of the church will only attend on Sunday morning and noon. No level of promotion seems able to motivate them to come out any other time. And yet these are the adults who are parenting poorly and are making almost no effort to spiritually lead at home. By gathering parents during the Sunday morning Bible teaching hour, we often see 10 times more parents experiencing life change than we would see on Saturday or on Sunday evening. And even the weakest parents will stay for a noon event when they have just experienced life impact during the Bible teaching hour and in worship.

Impact Parents during Sunday Morning Bible Study

I often speak to all parents of youth during the Sunday morning Bible teaching hour (or multiple hours). I usually speak on a topic similar to "Making a Spiritual Impact on Your Teenager." (A parent conference any other time will only draw a handful of the parents who need help the least. The weakest parents simply will not come any other time than Sunday morning—or perhaps DNow Weekend). We see dramatic impact on parents from this session on Sunday morning. They consistently report they go home to make significant changes in family life.

I welcome parents of preteens and even children in the Sunday morning session. We can help them establish patterns that can prevent many problems during adolescence.

We see the greatest impact when the presentation lasts around 60 minutes or more. Strategies that encourage parents to arrive on time are helpful.

Impact Parents and Teenagers Sunday Noon

I often lead an event for parents and teenagers over the noon hour, "Restoring Heart Connections between Parents and Teenagers." After the meal I lead parents and teenagers into some powerful experiences together. Youth leaders tell me they see family relationships altered even in visible ways during this session. I do not give a talk during this session. Instead, I lead families through a powerful time of sharing and communication.

1. For the noon event the church needs to provide care for grade-schoolers. After they eat, they can go to watch a video or play in traffic. The sharing between the parents and teenagers will be focused and intense, and the grade-schoolers really need to be somewhere else.

2. For the noon event you will want to invite a few adults who do not have teenagers. They can be “substitute parents” for those teenagers who attend without parents present. We don’t want anyone left out during the times when we put families in sharing mode with one another.

3. We often lose valuable time waiting for long lines to be served. Consider two lines or other plans for speeding serving. Also, ask the hostess to serve people as they arrive. Waiting for all to arrive before serving guarantees long delays. (Almost every Sunday those first to arrive find the line not prepared.)

4. People will appreciate your placing a few boxes of tissues on the tables since some families will experience tears as they restore heart connections. But please do not have workers moving around the room handing out tissues—it is distracting to families.

5. We will need one hour from the time people finish eating for this final session. I will not run long since child care is an issue.

6. It does not matter where people sit while they eat. Everyone will move slightly away from the tables for the sharing time. I have a specific way of showing people how to gather and sit with family members.

7. I will need a simple microphone and a stool or bistro chair.

Impact the Church through Preaching Sunday Morning

I often preach on Sunday morning to impact the full church—with a special focus on parents/families and the supreme majesty of Christ—as well as other topics.

Impact Those Who Teach the Bible

I find special joy in impacting those who teach and disciple students—including those who lead Sunday morning Bible study, those leading discipleship groups, and cell group leaders. Volunteer leaders seem to appreciate master’s-level training that transcends the shallowness of some Sunday School training events. I work closely with student ministers to custom-design training to fit specific needs. In every event, I seek to:

1. Join God in renewing the warmth and intimacy of leaders’ walk with the Father.

2. Sharpen leaders’ understanding of students, culture, and the process of spiritual transformation.

3. Join God in renewing the vision and passion of leaders for their calling in student ministry.

Impact Students on Moral Purity

Watching the first teenagers in the nation make the first True Love Waits promises was one of those mountain-peak moments in my life. Watching the newest generation of teenagers make their promises is also thrilling.

Impact Teenagers during DiscipleNow

God has chosen to bless a series of messages to teenagers called, “A Young Generation and the Supreme Majesty of Christ.” This series provides THE antidote to moralistic therapeutic deism.

God also has chosen to bless a series of messages to teenagers called, “Could You Be the Revival Generation?” In this message, I:

1. Quickly review the role students have had in launching most of the great revivals.

2. Present evidences that God is moving in this generation of students.

3. Give students specific instruction in how to raise their sails for revival.

Impact Parents during DiscipleNow

Typical parent seminars often attract only a handful of parents—and the parents who do attend usually are those who need help the least. DiscipleNow weekend provides an opportunity to impact far more parents, including those who need help the most.